


Dude, Where’s My 20 Questions--Road Trip

by jdrush



Series: 20 Questions [9]
Category: Cabin Pressure, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Fluff, Humour, M/M, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-14 22:08:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11792460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jdrush/pseuds/jdrush
Summary: John and Sherlock play a game on the way to Baskerville





	Dude, Where’s My 20 Questions--Road Trip

  
TITLE: Dude, Where’s My 20 Questions--Road Trip   
AUTHOR: J.D. Rush  
FANDOM: BBC Sherlock, with a slight crossover into Cabin Pressure  
PAIRING: All John/Sherlock, all the time.  
RATING: PG-13 for slashy overtones and one bad word. (John can be such a potty-mouth)  
SUMMARY: John and Sherlock play a game on the way to Baskerville  
SPOILERS: Sherlock: Itty bitty ones for "A Scandal in Belgravia" and "The Hounds of Baskerville". Really nothing plot-related. Cabin Pressure: "Ottery St. Mary". And that gives away the plot.  
AUTHOR’S NOTE: No betas were harmed in the making of this fic.

 

*overheard in a Range Rover, driving through Dartmoor*

"Yellow car."

"What?"

*adorable blush* "Oh, ah. . .nothing. . . I . . .um. . .I just saw a yellow car, that‘s all"

"And you felt the irresistible need to tell me that?"

"No, it’s just a game Harry and I used to play on long road trips when we were kids. You’d ride along and if you saw a yellow car, you’d announce it out before the other person. Whoever had the highest count at the end of the trip would win."

"Win what?"

"The game, of course."

"Yes, but what was the prize if you won?"

"There wasn’t one, well, maybe bragging rights, I suppose."

"So what was the point of playing?"

"None really, except to keep the two of us busy so we wouldn’t try to kill each other. That was pretty much a full time job for mum and da."

"And why, specifically, yellow cars?"

*shoulder shrug* "I dunno. That’s just the way the game is played. I guess because they’re kind of rare. And it’s fun to say ‘yellow car’."

*scoffs* "That sounds. . ."

"I know. Dull."

"I was going to say ridiculous."

"Well, to be fair, I WAS only five years old and it passed the time." *shy, hopeful smile* "We could play it now, on the way to Baskerville, if you want."

"I fail to see the advantage of playing a game if there’s no prize at the end."

"Not every game needs a prize, Sherlock. Sometimes you do something just because it's fun."

*indignant sniff* " I don’t."

"Oh, come on. I'm sure you and Mycroft played loads of games just for fun of it when you were children."

"John, you should have figured out by now that the words ‘Mycroft’ and ‘fun’ go together about as well as ‘Anderson’ and ‘intelligence’."

"Aww, you must have played SOME fun games together. 'Cops and Robbers' or 'Cowboys and Indians'?" *dramatic pause* "Pirates, perhaps?"

*shocked indignation* "That’s it--my brother is dead-man walking!"

*chuckle* "Oh, don’t hurt him. He’s a fountain of information."

"He’s a fat, odious tit."

"He's not THAT fat."

"He's still an odious tit."

"Well, yeah, that's a given. But at least he's an edifying one."

"I can’t believe he told you that about me."

"There's nothing wrong with it. I think it's charming you wanted to be pirate. I wanted to be Spider-Man myself."

*sarcastic* "Not Doctor Who, then? There's a surprise."

"I only wish Mycroft had shown me pictures. I'm sure you were an adorable pirate"

"You know, I could make you find your own way back to London."

"Don’t be that way, Sherlock. I’m only teasing." *pause* "So-o-o-o-o. . .?"

"So. . .what?"

"Do you still have the little eye patch?"

*disgruntled huff* "John."

"And the cardboard sword?"

"John!"

"What about a little toy hook hand? Because that would have been too cute for words."

*mutters* "Lots of open field. Nowhere to hide a body. Dammit!"

"Maybe you should dress up for me some night. We could role-play. You’d be the deadly, fearsome Captain Holmes, scourge of the Seven Seas. And I’d be your loyal, faithful cabin boy, willing to do anything my captain commanded--and I do mean ANYTHING."

"John, I hate to tell you but that is NEVER going to happen."

"Or even better. I can be your prisoner, kidnapped on the way to meet my fiancé. Just a naïve lad who has never tasted the forbidden fruit of the ’love that shall not be named’. I’d be helpless to refuse your ruthless demands, completely at your mercy as you wantonly stripped me of my resistance and my virtue, molesting me and taking me to heights of passion I have never known before."

"You really have to stop reading Mrs. Hudson’s romance novels."

*flirty tone* "What do ya’ say, Captain Holmes? Wanna board me tonight and make me walk your plank?"

"I can’t believe you, John! You’ve taken a perfectly happy, innocent childhood memory of mine--one of the very few I have, mind you--and you’ve managed to sully it with your obscene suggestions and heretofore unknown perverted fantasies about illicit lust on the high seas and. . .oh, yellow car."

*outraged gasp* "You twat! You said you didn't want to play."

"I lied. So what did I win?"

"I told you. There’s no prize for winning. And even if there WAS a prize, you didn’t win anything yet, since we're tied, one-to-one."

"We could make up a prize."

*suspicious* "Such as. . .?"

"Well, if you spot more yellow cars before we reach Baskerville, we’ll do that captain-prisoner-molesting thing."

"In full costume?"

"Of course."

*intrigued* "Sounds good. And if YOU win?"

*sly grin* "The same."

*big smile* "If I may quote you, my dear Sherlock--the game is on!"

 

  
THE END

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm slowly moving all my old fanfics to this AO3 account. This one was originally posted to my livejournal in March, 2012.


End file.
